Growing Up
Do you ever feel that you are not enough? Or that you don’t really fit in with the right crowd or group of people? If you do, you are definitely not alone! All my life, I felt like I was never enough and that I always fell short. Always last to be picked in gym class. Never picked to dance. Always trailed behind the others. I never really thought that I belonged anywhere – until now. I grew up in a home with loving parents and a wonderful extended family and friends that truly loved me. Despite this, it did not change the way I felt about myself. Many times I told myself things that were not true, and I began to believe them. Have you ever done that? I even started thinking I was someone I was not because others may have seen me differently. Sometimes people can paint a distorted picture of who you are or attempt to control who they want you to be. This can cause so much confusion and can leave us feeling lost.
I always felt that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough, pretty enough. No one told me these things, and it’s just what I believed to be true. I always tried to impress everyone but always felt that I fell short. That was my problem. I spent so much energy on making everyone else happy that I found myself feeling sad, which in turn made me think that there was something wrong with me. I never thought that I was enough. Eventually, I had begun to hate myself because I could never be what others wanted me to be. I struggled with my self-esteem and confidence. I was always trying to decide who I should be like. It was many years later that I discovered that I am who I am. I do not need to impress others. I so do not need to wish I were different. I am unique, and that is a great thing!
Today – I am Enough!
I now realize I am enough! I now know that I am Enough, and I have always been. I Am Enough. Here’s the funny part of all this; nothing has changed, but everything has changed. Strange right? What I mean is that I am the same, but my focus has shifted. I now spend less energy on others and more on myself. Some may call this selfish I call it self-preservation. It is possible to give so much of yourself that one day you find yourself empty, depleted.
I have not become smarter overnight. I have not become faster. I have not become prettier just because I wished it. I have become more aware and accepting, and I have learned to love myself as much as I love others, which has been freeing. I now know without a doubt that I am all those things and more. I learned that it is all about perception. It is often about the things we let others put into our thoughts even though we truly know we are enough.
So I have learned to live better, to expect more of myself because I do belong. I belong in this world. I belong to me, and that is everything. I have learned that I don’t need to apologize for the imperfect and ever-evolving person I am. I Am Enough, and so are you!